I had a very strange, disturbing dream last night. I awoke this morning with the smell of dark chocolate in my nostrils, a drool-sodden pillow, and doubt in my mind!
I was on moms computer clicking away abscent mindedly when I suddenly found myself in a deep corner of the dark web, where humans talk about things they shouldn’t, and discuss sordid subjects, most of which I do not understand.
It was such a secret that hardly anyone knew about it. Everyone, humans and dogs alike believed something to be true, which was in fact a terrible lie! I could not believe what I was reading. What I discovered, was that chocolate is not actually poisonous to dogs at all! It was an evil lie devised by despicable humans so that they did not have to share their favourite treats!
Can you believe that?
In my dream, I was furious and I decided that I was going to have some. One way or another, I was definitely going to eat some chocolate!
Now Mom is way too cautious to leave chocolate lying around, and to be honest, in my dreamy state I was not sure if she was part of the conspiracy or not, so I had to think clever.
I had seen the lady next door come home with a car load of shopping and decided to try some of theirs instead. My neighbour was in the front garden talking to the postman, I thought about it for about two seconds and decided to go for it.
I put on my bellaclava, and snuck over the fence. (in my dream I found I could climb that fence, it didn’t seem at all strange at the time.) I used my newly acquired opposable thumbs to open her back door, got up onto my tippytoes and crept in to her kitchen. Now a big black hound on tippytoes wearing a bellaclava must have been a strange sight, but fortunately for me, it was a dream, so no one saw me.
I searched through the shopping bags on the table and found exactly what I had hoped for, a giant sized bar of dark chocolate! I grabbed it, and put it in the swagbag which had mysteriously appeared in my hand! Then I tippytoed back out of the house and back over the fence.
I took off my bellaclava and settled down on my bed with my prize. I looked at it, carefully peeled back the wrapper and sniffed. It smelt delicious, and I started drooling. I was just about to take a bite, when
YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAPPITY YAP YAP YAP…….
I woke up.
My bed was wet with drool and my blanky was over my head. Charlie wanted to go out and there was Dad, as usual, making the coffee.
I sadly realised that it had just been a dream. Humans would never be that mean, would they?