My Blog on Poop for @Streetkleen

This is the blogpost I did for the lovely Gary at Streetkleen. His company can make electricity out of dog poop! You may have seen it already on his website. My apologies if you have.

Click here to see his website.

I’m a hound. And as such, I dont usually spend much time thinking about things, except for where the next sausage or Wonky Chomp is coming from.

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But today Mom was doing poop duty in the garden, and as I opened one eye to listen to her usual sarcastic comments about corks, and where they could be strategically placed, I got to wondering. Every other day, she picks up my poop from the garden and puts it in her big bin. It stays there until the bin men come to take it away.

Why?

Now I like to poop in my own garden, but sometimes I poop when we go out for a walk. Again Mom picks it up and puts it in a bin. I’ve never quite understood this, but it’s what happens. I have to admit, I quite like to sniff other dogs poop, its interesting, it tells me who’s around. There are lots of other dogs that walk in my park and of course they all leave their calling cards.

Although most humans are like mine, there are some that don’t pick it up. I know this because Mom stood in some once and said some very unprintable words. But mostly it all goes into scruffy metal bins scattered about the park.

But what happens to all my poop?

I am just one hound and I easily fill a bucket a week. A town full of dogs must produce a huge heap of it. I know that some rubbish goes into a special bin, and this goes away to be used to make other things, like toilet paper or newspapers. But Mom told me that that most things just go into big holes in the ground.

It seems wrong to me. Its what cats do, isn’t it? Hide their poop. I’m a dog, not a cat! I do not like the idea of my poop being buried in the ground.

So when I heard that dog poop can be turned into something useful, I thought, what a pawsome idea! After all, it takes a lot of sausages and kibble to produce it in the first place! How amazing if it could really be used to make the electricity to cook more sausages, and therefore make more poop! Sounds perfect doesn’t it?

But how would it work?

Does the poop have to be fresh to be useful? Would someone empty all the bins every day and take it away? What about all the poop like mine, which is collected in gardens? Could that somehow be collected? What about the bags it’s collected in? Would they get in the way? Mom uses supermarket carrier bags when we go to the park. They are supposed to rot down one day, but do they? And how would we make sure that every human used the special bins?

Would we need little power plants all over the country making Doggylektric? Or would it all have to be transported to one place? Could normal power plants be adapted to use dog poop? Wouldn’t it all be rather smelly? I have so many questions but I love the idea of us dogs being useful.

My houndy mind is overwhelmed with the possibilities!

If dog poop was a valuable asset and not just a stinky mess, and if all humans used the special Doggylektric bins, would dogs then be allowed on beaches and other places where we can’t go now? I have never seen the sea and quite like that idea. I say let’s go for it, we just need to train our owners to be more responsible, and we all win!

So next time Mom mentions corks up bottoms I can put up my paw and say “Stop!” My poop is a useful renewable energy source, treat it with respect!  I would, if I had the energy! 

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